The Ridonculous Race: Season 3
by The Darke Lorde
Summary: All 18 teams are ready. Ready for what? THE RIDONCULOUS RACE PART THREE, OF COURSE! Rated T for Bleeped-out Swearing
1. Chapter 1

We see the Asian side of Istanbul. A voice said, "Um, I'm over here?" the camera zooms to a train station with none other than our fave bro, Don! He says, "Welcome to . Now, we'll take on the 18 new teams coming our way, from games, show, movies, books, etc," pausing to show a dragon-like guy and a bat-demon-like guy come off a bus, then said, "Generals Darmith and Nishant, The Evil-doers. Is that 'Evil' part said E-Vial, or E-Vil, like the normal word? I'll go with the first one,"

*Confessional*

Darmith and Nishant are sitting on stools. Darmith said, "We WILL win this mortal game, or I will DESTROY ANYONE THAT I WANT! IS THAT CLEAR!?"

Nishant said, "You DO know that there's a 1/18 chance of us winning? You DO know that, right, Darmith?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

*End Confessional*

Don said, "Humanoid and Annelidoid Neurax, The Neurax Twins," showing a teenage girl and a gigantic worm come of the same bus.

*Confessional*

Human Neurax said, "My name's Kayla, and my baby bro's name is Mikey. Now, don't you forget that!"

Mikey said, "I'M NOT YOUR BABY BRO! WE'RE TWINS! WE'RE THE SAME F****** G****** F****** AGE, YOU F****** G****** F****** H**!"

"Hey, I was born first."

"OH, WHATEVER!"

The two spent the rest of the Confessional fighting.

*End Confessional*

"Ronnie Anne Santiago and Lincoln Loud, The Crushers" showing said 11-year-old Hispanic and white-haired guy.

*Confessional*

Ronnie Anne said, "We are TOTALLY gonna win this thing!"

Lincoln said, "If we win, all of my sibs'll respect me, we get 1,500,000 bucks each, it's a beautiful thang!"

"Yeah, this'll be TOTALLY COOL!"

*End Confessional*

"Generals Thetys and Ingvar, The Anti-Evils" showing a blue woman with little armor (Or any clothes to speak of) on, and a heavily armored man with wings, and axe, and a shield.

*Confessional*

Thetys said, "We are here to leave a check on Darmith and Nishant. However, 3,000,000 in American dollars will not hurt. It could REALLY help the Water and Light armies become suited up for war."

Ingvar said, 'Yes, yes. It will help VERY well."

*End Confessional*

"Percy Jackson and Poseidon, The Anglers." Showing said 16-year-old and sea god.

*Confessional*

Percy said, "WE'RE TOTALLY GONNA WIN THIS THING! OH YEAH!"

Posidon said, "Son, really? We only have, like, what, a 0.05% chance of winning this thing? But, 3,000,000 Moolas to split will be amazing."

*End Confessional*

"Fred and George Weasley, Partners in Pranking." Showing two nearly identical twin redheads.

*Confessional*

Fred (The right one) said, "All profits from this race will go to," pointed to George (The left one), who said, "93, Diagon Alley," and they both said, "WEASLEY WIZARD WHEEZES! WHOOP!"

*End Confessional*

"Lori Loud and Roberto Alejandro Martinez-Millan Luis Santiago, Jr., The Daters. God, that's such a humongous name, I'll just call 'em Roberto," Showing said couple.

*Confessional*

Lori said, "Oh. MY. GOD. WE'RE FINALLY HERE! I mean, like, I LITERALLY tried to get into the first 2 Ridonculous Races since I was 16, but my parents wouldn't let me, so I had to LITERALLY BRIBE them THIS TIME with my entire life's savings of $200.94. LITERALLY."

Roberto said, "Well, I only came 'cuz Lori would be here. But, I watched the show, and it was funny. And, since that the prize of winning is 3,000,000 in cash, I'll do it."

They spent the rest of the Confessional having a make-out session.

*End Confessional*

"Sgt. Brick and Dr. Kavan, The Heroes of the Hour." Showing said Boom Beach Heroes.

*Confessional*

Brick said, "We're here to win, and win only. Like my motto says, TO VICTORY!"

Kavan said, "Really? I thought that we were here to get out of the Archipelago. Oh yeah, this was my idea. I would've asked Cpt. Everspark, but she came down with the flu."

*End Confessional*

"Electro and Ice Wizards, The Magicians," showing said Legendary Clash Royale Cards Troops.

*Confessional*

Electro said, "This'll be ELECTRIFYING!"

Ice said, "Yep, We're here to Freeze and Electrify all the other competitors."

*End Confessional*

"Carlota and Carlos Casagrande Jr., The Thicc Faces. Can I call you CJ?" showing a THICC 17-year-old girl and a 13-year-old with Down's syndrome.

*Confessional*

Carlota said, "OK, CJ, now that we're here, can I ask you that question I've wanted to ask you?"

CJ said, "Yeah."

"WHY ARE WE CALL THE F***ING THICC G**** F***INGFACES!?"

"I don't know,"

The two spent the rest of the Confessional fighting.

*End Confessional*

"Luna and Luan Loud, The Bi-Bis. Is the Lu-wahn or Lu-wann?" showing said jokester and rock kid.

*Confessional*

Luna said, "Oh yeah, bros! We're TOTALLY GONNA WIN THIS!"

Luan said, "Yeah! 'Cuz we're the Bi-Bis, and we'll TOTALLY make the gals here GAWK at our sheer hotness"

*End Confessional*

"Athena and Annabeth Chase, The Wise Women," showing said Wisdom Goddess and 16-year-old stereotypical Cali girl.

*Confessional*

Athena said, "I have calculated our chances of winning, using past Races, and our chances of winning are… Precisely, 0.05%, or, 1/18 chance."

Annabeth said, "Mom, that's everybody's chance too."

"Oh"

*End Confessional*

"Dani and Cody Burns, The Rescue Sibs," showing a 16-year-old brunette and 11-year-old blond guy.

*Confessional*

Dani said, "I'm doin' this for Blades, and blades ONLY."

Cody said, "I'm doing this for all the Rescue Bots, especially Boulder. Hey guys!" and waved at the camera.

Dani did the same thing.

*End Confessional*

"Lana and Lola Loud, The Identical Poles" showing said identical-yet-very-different twins.

*Confessional*

Lana said, "OH YEAH! WE ARE SSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO GONNA BE COOL BY DOIN' THIS!"

Lola said, "Yeah, I know, right? Like, I LOVE The Ridonulous Race! AND, with US HERE, IT'LL BE WAY BETTER!"

They both said, "WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

They spent the rest of the Confessional saying that.

*End Confessional*

"Bob and Kevin, The Minion Heroes," showing said minions.

*Confessional*

Kevin said, "Bushka Knowkakaya. (Translation: I've always wanted to be in this Ridonculous Race.)"

Bob said, "Buki yuki ikub ikuy, Kevin. (Translation: And yet, here we are, Kevin.)"

They both said, "Pwede na, kayuki tiki? (Translation: Can we start, please?)

*End Confessional*

"Night Witch and Witch, The Beach Hot Witches" showing said Clash of Clans magician sisters.

*Confessional*

Witch said, "And WHY again are we called The Beach Hot Witches?"

Night witch said, "I WOULD'VE called us the Hot Beach B******, but I thought that no one could even SAY our own team name, so, therefore, there ye are. The Hot Beach Witched."

*End Confessional*

"Moana and Maui, The Sailors," showing said Polynesians.

*Confessional*

Moana said, "I brought Hei-Hei to have him see the world. But, for now, I'm keeping this coconut half on his head." Showing Hei-Hei, whose head was indeed in a coconut.

Maui said, "And, if we win, I'll become even more of a hero! CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Maui wasted the rest of the Confessional doing that.

*End Confessional*

"And, finally, Barbarian King and Archer Queen, the Clashers," showing said Clash of Clans Heroes.

*Confessional*

King said, "We'll win this, and we'll try our hardest! YAR!"

Queen said, while heavily blushing, "Yeah, we'll totally win this. You and me, together…"

"Are you blushing? 'Cuz you look like you're blushing"

"Uh, no. I'm not blushing.'

"It looks like you are, 'cuz your cheeks are red."

"I'm just hot, that's all. Whew, this Turkish heat is KILLIN' me right now."

*End Confessional*

"The Race will officially start… TOMORROW."

All the teams said in perfect sync, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"


	2. Destinations

**So, this'll be the legs (The Destinations where the teams will be going), and don't think of this as a spoiler, K? K. Proceed.**

 **Leg 1 of Ridonculous Race: Hagia Sophia, Turkey, Climb or Cry (Either/Or).**

 **Leg 2: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, 15 Hr 15 Min from Turkey, Tarzan Swang (All-In), Carnivale in The Making (Botch or Watch).**

 **Leg 3: Cairo, Egypt, 15 Hr 35 Min from Brazil, Bellay Dancaing (Either/Or, W/ oldest member or oldest female in team performing in Canivale suit), A Magical Camel Ride (All-In).**

 **Leg 4: Madrid, Spain, 4 Hr 35 Min from Egypt, Running of the Toros or Toro attack (Either/Or), Spicay (Botch or watch, w/ member who didn't belly dance in Egypt).**

 **Leg 5: NYA, USA, 8 Hr 15 Min away from Spain, Run up and Down (All-In), Lock and Row (All-In).**

 **Leg 6: Mexico City, Mexico, 40 Hr 0 Min from NYC by car, Spicay 2 (Botch or Watch, W/ whoever belly danced in Egpyt), Burro Ride (All-In).**

 **Leg 7: London, England, 10 Hr 5 Min from Mexico, Tower Watch or Tower Joust (Either/Or).**

 **Leg 8: Beijing, China, 10 Hr 5 Min from England,** **Jǔjué zhège (All-In), Rick It All The Way To The Wall (Botch or Watch, W/ whoever did the Spicay 2 Challenge).**

 **Leg 9: Tokyo, Japan, 3 Hr 30 Min from China, Climb It or Spin It (Either/Or), Om-Nom-Nom (All-In).**

 **Leg 10: Flores, Indonesia, 7 Hr 40 Min from Japan, Got Venom? (All-In), RugRats (All-In).**

 **Leg 11: Nairobi, Kenya, 15 Hr 50 Min from Indonesia, Rhino Rodeo (Botch or Watch, W/ whoever did Spicay 1), Selfie Rhino Time (All-In).**

 **Leg 12: Saint Petersburg, Russia, 13 Hr 15 Min from Kenya, Drive to a Hole (All-In), Koka-Kola Borehole (Botch or Watch, W/ whoever did Spicay 2), Non-Elimination Round.**

 **Leg 13: Casablanca, Morocco, 8 Hr 25 Min from Russia, Spicay 3 (All-In), Drink and Run (Botch or Watch, W/ whoever did Rhino Rodeo), Non-Elimination Round, and winners get 1 phone call.**

 **Leg 14: Seoul, South Korea, 15 Hr 20 Min from Morocco, Staff the Crew (All-In), Korean Thankgivin' (All-In), Double-Elimination.**

 **Leg 15: Hanoi, Vietnam, 4 Hr 30 Min from South Korea, Cat-Noodalaing (Super-Team), An A-Maze-ing Cave (All-In).**

 **Leg 16: Berlin, Germany, 12 Hr 50 Min from Vietnam, Climb The Wall (All-In), The HoloFarts (All-In).**

 **Leg 17: Lima, Peru, 15 Hr 5 Min from Germany, Macchu Pich-it (All-In), Walk To Cuzco (All-In).**

 **Leg 18: Santiago, Chile, 3 Hr 30 Min from Peru, Ata-Camino (All-In), Up The Hand We Go! (All-In).**

 **Leg 19: Mumbai, India, 23 Hr 55 Min from Chile, Ganosh-Nom (All-In), None-Elimation Round.**

 **Leg 20: Delhi, India, 20 Hr 23 Min from Mumbai by train, Indian Deli Feast (All-In).**

 **Leg 21: Cape Town, South Africa, 14 Hr 50 Min from India, Hike n' Climb (All-In), Robben' a Penguin Selfie (All-In).**

 **Leg 22: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, 18 Hr 35 Min from South Africa, Whoopa Monkey Selfay (All-In), Schwimming With Ze Sharks (Botch or Watch, W/ whoever did Koka-Kola Borehole), Sandy McCastles's Vietnamese Return (All-In).**

 **Leg 23: Geelong, Australia, 18 Hr 50 Min from Vietnam, Jail-Break (All-In), Row Row Row Your Raft (All-In).**

 **Leg 24: Jakarta, Indonesia, 21 Hr 55 Min from Australia, Ellie's Polo Try-Out (All-In), Turtle Selfies for DAYS (All-In), Non-Elimination Round.**

 **Leg 25: Calcutta, India, 7 Hr 5 Min from Indonesia, Kali's Raiders (All-In), Hikey Right Through The Tigiers and Crocodiles (All-In).**

 **Leg 26: Boston, USA, 21 Hr 25 Min from India, Throw Away The Tea or Get Eliminated (All-In), Get to The Castle (All-In), Finale.**


	3. It Begins Part 1

"The Race will officially start… TOMORROW."

All the teams said in perfect sync, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

 _ ************************************The Very Next Day**************************************_

When all the teams gathered, Don said, showing them a certain micro-Don, "This, is the Don Box. Hit the button on the top to get a botch, like this." And hit the button, and a botch came out, and then Dongrabbed it and said, "You read the botch to find out what your Travel Tip is. And get to the Chill Zone fast, because after this challenge, the last team there WILL be eliminated."

All of the teams muttered among themselves, and then Don said, "Get ready." And all the teams did so, and Don said, "On your mark… Get set… GO!" and all the teams trampled him.

*Interview: Don*

"You'd expect that after 2 seasons, I'd not stand in front of the teams by now."

*End Interview*

All the teams were charging to the Hagia Sophia, where there was a Don Box. The Clashers where in the lead, with the Bi-Bis, Rescue Sibs, Crushers, Sailors, and Minion Heroes following closely. The Clashers ran into a trash can, rendering them immobilized. The Crushers leaped over it, saying, "SAYONARA, SUCKAS!"

*Confessional: The Crushers*

Ronnie Anne said, "That was SO worth it!"

Lincoln said, "I AGREE!"

*End Confessional*

The Crushers ran up to the Don Box, hit the button, and Ronnie Anne got it & read it. It said… "Either/Or… Climb or Cry."

Don went up to the Hagia Sophia and said, "An Either/Or is a challenge where you get to choose what you do. You can do the Climb Challenge, you have to climb the 180-meter-high cathedral, or the Cry, where you have to go up the minarets, which are 60 feet high, and cry out a fake call to prayer, and after you do your challenge, you have to go down the cathedral or minaret, take a taxi to the airport, and take one of three airplanes, each departing 30 minutes apart. Anyone on the 1st airplane clearly has the advantage, the teams on the 2nd airplane should worry, and if you're on the 3rd plane, you should consider why you even entered the race, 'cuz, SERIOUSLY? That's just pathetic. Anyway, back to the teams."

The Crushers said, "Cry" and went up a minaret.

(A/N: I'll just give you who picked what here w/ a few Confessionals, K? K. Proceed.)

Cry: Crushers, Neurax Twins, Identical Poles, Sailors, Anglers, Daters, Wise Women, Clashers, and Partners in Pranking.

Climb: Rescue Sibs, Bi-Bis, Heroes of the Hour, Minion Heroes, Beach Hot Witches, Thicc Faces, Magicians, Evil-doers, and Anti-Evils.

The Crushers and Neurax Twins were in a head-to-head race up the minaret, with the Crushers coming in first. Lincoln yelled out, "tueal alan 'iilaa 'umuk wababa alkhasi bik wa'iilaa waliama!" and the Crushers went down the minaret.

*Confessional: Crushers*

Ronnie Anne said, "And WHY did you say that?"

Lincoln said, ""Cuz he wanted us to say something."

"Uh, Lincoln?"

"Yeah?"

"You do know it's Ramadan, right?"

Lincoln was shocked at this.

*End Confessional*

Don said, "And as the Crushers are taking their taxi, the Clashers have just gone up," showing that they were indeed up the tower.

 **To be continued…**


End file.
